I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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