how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
