yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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