high people should be assigned attendants
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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