I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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