her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
