Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
