you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
