She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
