She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
