it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
