He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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