You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ladies don't puke and tell
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
