i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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