When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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