OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
