i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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