If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
