i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
