A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am naked and annoyed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
