I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
