I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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