Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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