I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
