i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
