With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.