There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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