My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
