Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
