How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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