why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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