I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
