I just made out with a guy for $7.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize