yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
