Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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