He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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