seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
