that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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