Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
