think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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