I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
