pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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