she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize