I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
