i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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