As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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