Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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