his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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