Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
