is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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