I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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