Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
