Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
