He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
