I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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