what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize