the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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