My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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