Define "chronic" masturbator.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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