ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she peed on how many people?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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