Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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