I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize